


joke's on you

by CrazyLaughter



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Arguing, Divorce, Fluff, Lawyer Louis, M/M, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 03:06:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10608000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyLaughter/pseuds/CrazyLaughter
Summary: one-shot where Louis is a divorce lawyer with a successful marriage. Featuring divorced Ziam.





	

Just as Harry comes out of the bathroom, Louis had been sitting up against the headboard. He pounces on him with his statement. "Your duty today. You're putting the kids to bed tonight."

Harry narrows his eyes at him, crossing his arms, tilting his head in confusion. He's standing at the foot of the bed, in ridiculously short boxers. His eyebrows scrunched over a pair of light skeptical eyes, lips twisted into a frown. He smelt like lavender even with being three feet away and his hair was stringy from the shower. Harry never took his breath away. It was more like, giving breath. Perhaps that was a good thing- a different one. Louis Tomlinson wanted to live a good long life.

"Are we doing this again? We don't take turns, Lou," he chastises with the same frown, shaking his head like he wasn't used to Louis's antiques. Quite contradictory to the fact that they'd known each other for almost half their lives. "It's not a duty. It is, but not an obligatory one, you get me?"

Louis scoffs, "Harold, that's not what I meant. I'm a bit too tired and me bones ache. Pretty please, just this once." He makes it a point by taking the discarded t-shirt beside and hurling it at his husband's chest. "This is how successful marriages work out, darling. Go with it."

"Yeah, you definitely know, Mr Lawyer, with all those fighting couples lining up at your office." He manages to catch the shirt and pulls it over his head in one go. "If Ava wakes up in the middle of the night, I'm not getting up. You can change her diaper. For reasons of successful matrimony." He snorts, mock-glaring at the latter. He mutters a 'fool' as he walks out of the room, Louis's laughter trailing behind.

Across the hall, Louis can hear Harry telling Reuben a short animated story with evil robots. He picks up the book he had been reading the previous night, spectacles sitting over his nose, and begins where he left off. After the story from the other bedroom, the nursery is filled with cooing and giggles. Around three chapters later, Harry returns and he looks up from his book. "Are they asleep?"

"Yeah," Harry whips off his t-shirt again and strides over to his side of the bed. He slides up the duvet just as Louis puts his glasses and book on the bedside table. Simultaneously, the both of them sink into the bed with a sigh. "Lou, you have to send that cheque to Mr Millers, tomorrow. Don't forget."

"I won't," Louis promises around a yawn. "I'm sorry I was late today. I got held up again. Anything interesting happen?"

Harry shuffles and turns to face his husband. He brings a hand up and wraps it around Louis's stomach, stroking his side slowly. "I think Ava's teeth are about to come out. She was screaming her lungs out during tea and she nearly bit off my finger. Mama left a few teething rings last time she came by and I popped them in the fridge for tomorrow.Oh... and Reub brought home a bunch of mulberry leaves with silkworms in them because he wanted to make silk. Took me a while to convince him."

Louis hums in reply, a lazy smile on his lips. "We have very entertaining lives," he finishes the sentence with a yawn that makes his jaw ache.

"Are you really that tired?"

He blinks owlishly. "I had to send around three sets for counselling and the other four decided my office was a good place for bickering. I even forgot my migraine medicine at home. I've honestly had better days."

Harry clucks his tongue, eyeing him cautiously. "Your job is just..."

"I know. I'm not particularly fond of it, but I think I'm doing good and the pay is excellent. It'll only be a while." He sighs deeply. "I have Zayn and Liam appointed for tomorrow."

"Yeah, I remember those two."

Louis snorts in reply. "I know." He surges forward and kisses Harry square on the mouth, pulling back with a tired smile. "Don't worry your pretty head, baby."

"Shut up," Harry murmurs and they're asleep.

***

As suspected, the next morning, Louis watches Liam come in around ten minutes early with pressed trousers, he fidgets around with his fingers on the table. He's okay with having a sugarless tea when Louis asks and a permanent frown is stuck on him. On the other hand, Zayn is fifteen minutes late. He reeks of smoke, too-tight-to-be-professional jeans and throws himself into a chair carelessly upon arriving.

"So, we starting or what?" Zayn says, his shoulders shrugging.

Liam mutters under his breath and glares at his ex-husband. "Can you be serious at least, once in life? Did you have to come in looking like that?"

Zayn snorts, rolling his eyes. "I thought when you divorced me, it entailed that you stop bossing over me too."

At this point, Liam's ears are red, his eyes are murderous. "How dare you-"

"Shut up, both of you," Louis barks. He massages his forehead with a sigh. "I'm not your counsellor. Need I send you to one? We know how that turned out last time. Now, where did you leave Saanya?"

"She's actually in the other room. Niall's entertaining her."

Zayn positively lights up at that, body sitting up straight. "Can I go see her? Can we postpone this thing for five minutes? I wanna go see her? Can I see her?"

"This _thing_ , is important," Louis grits out. He was honestly losing his patience with the both of them. They'd gotten married four years ago, gotten divorced a few months ago under the reason of irreconcilable differences. Both of them were twenty-nine years old, and based on the way they fought, were mentally only ten years old. They wouldn't breath the same air, and couldn't stay in the same room without having a row. Their poor four-year-old daughter was being the rope between the vicious game of tug-o-war. "This is about Saanya and the arrangement of your custody."

"I was hoping we'd talk about this soon," Liam says, and thankfully, the other man doesn't have a go at him.

"I suppose Perrie came over to check on you both?" He opens up the file she'd sent him, with notes comparing both of their homes. She was a social worker that was sick of their case too; just like Niall and him. "Now, she told me a few things. And I've come to the conclusion that Liam can have her for the first week, Zayn, you can have her for the second and then, Liam can have her for the third and fourth week."

Liam smiles gratefully, but Zayn immediately jumps to protest. "That isn't fair! Liam gets three weeks and I get one?"

"I don't even blame him," Liam shoots back. "The way you are and the lifestyle you've adopted," he tsks. "Not very ideal."

Zayn glowers at him high intensity. "Do you still have I right to say that? 'Cause I remember when you slammed the papers down on my desk and said you were done."

Liam is seething. "Don't pretend like this is all my fault. You've been slipping away for almost an year, and it became irreparable. You didn't care about me, I doubt you even cared about Saanya."

That apparently does it for Zayn. "Are you saying that? Are you actually saying that?" He laughs, but his voice sounds wet and he stares down at the table. "Rich coming from you. You don't have any idea how any times she's asked for you, do you? Do you know the number of times you were negligent? I can help you remember if you want."

"You sodding-"

"Shut it!" Louis shouts. "I'm not babysitting you two, understood? I am your lawyer, as I said before. Not your bloody counsellor. Which- I'm going to tell Niall to give you a few contacts on that. Christ, you both need help," he swallows down his anger and breaths out. "You're doing nothing but riling up each other. I'll tell you what; you were both bad parents and now you're not together and that's why Saanya needs to be taken care more, than before. Can you get that in your heads? Do you understand?"

As if scared, the pair of them nod at once.

"Zayn, Perrie told me you didn't have a proper environment for raising a child." He glances down at the notes in the file. "She's stated that your flat has to be made childproof. Also, personal advice; stop smoking. You have a child, and I dunno why you've started up again, but quit it. Till you set your home straight, Liam will have the upper hand in this." The mentioned man begins to smirk. "That doesn't mean you're excused, Liam. You will not speak to Zayn like that again, understand? Both of you love your daughter a lot, and you will not emotionally blackmail him like that again."

He relaxes back in his chair. "Right. So, next week, Zayn, you will take her. I should see that there's no change in this. You will not fight, you will not do it in front of Saanya. You will be civil and anything goes wrong, know that I will be notified. Perrie will make unannounced visits and talk to Saanya if she has to. You may leave now."

"But-"

"You may leave," he says more firmly.

The men stumble up and scurry out of the room like threatened animals. Louis sighs and takes a drink from the glass sitting on a coaster on the table. His stress levels were rocketing with those two around, and he should force them to be friends. It would be best for the both of them and Saanya. But, he can't figure out how. A minute or so later, he stands up and goes into the waiting room.

Liam and Niall are seated on the chairs, making a decent conversation, the former steals looks at the other two on the floor. Niall's most likely given Saanya a black marker, since she's drawn mustaches on all the faces on the magazines on the table. Zayn claps and smiles at her as she draws bushy eyebrows on a cover of Gigi Hadid, and she looks happier than before. Saanya pushes her sandy blonde hair behind her ear with dainty horribly-nailpainted fingers and her eyes are wide.

He goes over and bends down beside her. "Hello, Saanya."

"Mr Tomlinson," she greets politely. She smiles and "My baba came. My daddy's over there."

Louis smiles as big as he can, meeting Zayn's eyes over his head. "Yes, love. You having a good time?"

"Yeah," she nods enthusiastically.

Liam jumps up, sauntering over to them. He offers a hand to his daughter. "C'mon, babe. Let's go. You have taekwondo class after this, don't you? We need to go home and change."

She nods, but, glances back over Zayn with a confused expression. "What about baba?"

"You can see him next week, Saanya."

"Promise?"

"I promise. You can ask him if you want."

"Really, baba?"

Zayn smiles sadly. "Yes, baby. I'll come to pick you up next week. I promise. Right now, I want you to go that taekwondo class and I want you to punch all those mean boys, okay?"

"There's no mean boys, though."

He doesn't answer, simply choosing to crush her in a tight hug and soundly kisses her cheek. "Be good for your daddy, okay?" She nods and, Liam and her walk away. It's only a moment until Zayn composes himself and plasters on a smile. "Thanks, Louis," is the last thing he says before he leaves.

Louis meets eyes with Niall, who raises his eyebrows. "I know, mate. I'm so done with those too."

***

He's working on a new file. Another one with custody of three kids. He can't imagine what it'd be for them. All those hard times they have to go through, but all he knows is that they choose to exhale it all on him. It's a bit too much to take. Too many secrets. Niall keeps clicking and unclicking his ball point pen as he was working, humming something under his breath. He was not a lawyer like Louis, but worked for the HR part of the firm. Together, they were a great team.

"Hey, Lou? If I were to ban banning? How would I ban it?"

Louis looks at him, puzzled. "Sorry?"

Niall rolls his eyes, placing his pen down. "If too many things were getting banned like, stilettos and lone banana peels, and we had to put a stop to it, how would you? You would have to ban the bans. How would you ban the bans if you've already banned it?"

"My brain is already fried, Niall. Don't push me, I'll ban you out of my office. God knows why I let you work here."

"You wouldn't, Tomlinson. You called me -I quote- a little laughing sunflower with scrawny legs, when you were drunk last year." He shrugs in mock contemplation. "That's like, savage, mate."

"Sod off! You said you wouldn't bring that up!"

At the correct moment, Harry waltzes in with his long trench coat, Ava tucked in his arms and a baby bag slung over his shoulder, a hand holding a large paper bag. His hair is wild around his face like it was running from him. "Look at that, Ava, Dada's cursing like a sailor. Oh no!" He fake-gasps, following it with a smirk.

Louis jumps up from his seat, face gobsmacked, spreading his hands. "What are you doing here, Haz?"

Harry comes forward and kisses him with the desk between them. "Avalyn missed her Dada."

"You didn't?"

He smirks, lips pulled out wide. "What if I didn't?"

"Really?"

"No. Not when I had the entire house to myself. And you know..."

"Oh, you little-"

Niall pops in, wrenching the bag out of Harry's hand. "Please stop flirting. I'm like legit torn between puking and going blind." He smacks a kiss on Harry's cheek. "Thanks for the food, Harry. If you ever want to leave Louis, you know my address."

"Oi!" Louis furrows his eyebrows at the Irish man. But, he's already skipped away. "Leave me some, you plonker!" He glances back at Ava, gummy smile and chubby fists. Her ruffled white frock flies up as she kicks out her legs. He beckons her over by stretching his arms out and she comes easily. "Ava, darling. Did you really miss me? Or is your Pops giving me an excuse?"

Ava seems to understand, since she gurgles in response. Then, she swats him on the face with her saliva covered fist.

"Pops is a very bad boy. I don't even know why I married him, y'know?"

Harry begins to laugh. "Lou-"

Niall comes back and takes Ava from him. She slides into his arms without struggle. Traitor. "On second thoughts, wouldn't want the baby to get scarred. We're off. She can watch me while I eat. Actually, Harry, you could give me her bottle? I swear I'll be careful."

As if it was the cue, Ava lets out a loud and long fart.

"I think I'll handle it from here," Harry takes her back, dimples emerging as he peers at Niall's horrified face. "She's already had her lunch. Lou, I was thinking we could pick up Reuben after your shift and we can go that new Italian place? We need some family time and he's been keen on wanting to try out his table etiquette. You know, the whole... soup spoon, butter knife, holding the fork upside down and all."

"Yeah, we'll see, babe," Louis promises with a smile. "If I can get off early today."

"Hold on, I'll be back in a mo and we'll discuss this," Harry winks and strides out of the office, cooing to the girl in his arms. Louis can't look away, even through the glass door.

"You both are so disgusting," Niall says, but, there's a smile in his voice.

***

"What is it, now?" Louis groans.

Zayn looks over at the other man with vicious eyes. "He has a woman over. Saanya told me. I don't want her to be exposed to someone new like that. I'm not letting her get attached to someone who won't stay! Louis, tell him."

The both of them are back in his office, seated next to each other, mouths full of accusations. Same old crap, but a different day. "Liam, is that true?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Liam."

"Sophia will stick around. I know she will."

Zayn glares at him. "How long have you known her? Months, at least? Oh, wait, we were divorcing that time. Did you know her before that? Was she in the picture before I was even gone?"

He looks like he wants to cry. Liam takes in a shuddery breath. "I can't do this, Louis," he says to the lawyer, instead. "I can't keep up with him. This is mental abuse. It's taking away every bit of my patience and I'm so tired of this. Is it so wrong that I want to be happy? For once?"

"Didn't I keep you happy? Even for a little while? Why, then? Why did we get married? Why did you say yes?" Zayn is shooting, spit flying everywhere.

"I didn't you would be this insensitive!"

"Liam," Louis chides. "He's treating you the way you're treating him. It won't stop until one of you break the cycle."

"I'm making an effort here," he protests. "We've gone two weeks without fighting. I let him take Saanya without any problem. I have. I just. I'm sorry I'm telling you this, but I have no one to call my own. I'm lonely all the time, and I hate it. I can't bear it."

 Louis shakes his head vehemently. He's so angry. He'd been dealing with the two's whining for so long, it was beginning to get on his nerves. "I'm sorry to say this too, Liam. But, you can't put yourself first. Not anymore. You have a kid, who's first priority. Stop thinking about yourself now. Found a woman? Wait an year before you introduce her to Saanya. That's how it is. Both of you have got to stop coming to me for this. You're the only ones who can solve it! No matter how many times you're going to come for me for judgement, the only people who can decide what is right is you!"

 "You wouldn't know," Liam snarls at him. "You won't ever know. You don't have a bloody daughter to take care of or a ex-husband that's at your throat. You don't know anything. You're devoid of emotion, I bet you tell this to everybody who comes here. You don't have feelings, because you don't have a family to keep up with!" With that, he's out of his chair, ready to bolt.

 "Sit down," Louis barks at once, even Zayn flinches. Liam punctuates his steps, expression thrown off. For just a minute moment, he looks terrified of the storm he brewed up. "If you leave right now, so god help me. I said sit down, Liam. _Now._

 "Excellent observation. I don't have anything like you, and I won't ever," Louis states, but it sounds nearly like a threat. "I might've told this to a million other couples, but let me tell you- none of them were as pathetic as you," he spits scornfully. "This is my job, and I'm doing it. I could assign you whatever arrangement I can, and not see to your comfort. But, look, I'm being made to stand between you two and sort this out like it's my problem. If you can't keep up, you shouldn't have even had a child! Now, look," he jabs a finger in their direction and peers at both their ashen faces.

"You will go home, you will negotiate. You will do something, I don't care what it is. I'm not doing this again with you two. Liam, I'll allot Zayn two weeks, if that women comes to meet you when Saanya's around. Zayn, you're not being let off either. We find one more stash of weed in your flat, you'll have to see your daughter on supervised visits. Is that clear?"

 Both of them nod with wide eyes.

 "Am I clear to you?"

 The both of them say 'yes' in unison.

 "Now, out!"

 

 ***

 

The door swings open, revealing a frazzled Harry in a worn out band t-shirt that had something strangely yellow on it. He was wearing Louis's pyjama trousers; they showed off his ankles in a not so fashionable way. This was what having kids was like. It was a good day, since, Harry looked more glamorous than any other time. It was no exaggeration, or a lie. "Busy day, babe?"

 "Yeah," Louis sighs and cranes up to kiss his husband on the lips. He was quick with it before Reuben could come in and mock them. Kissing was disgusting to all four year olds and it only made Louis laugh. "I know you like taking the mickey out of me for it."

 "I would never," Harry gasps theatrically, while his lips curl into a smirk. With his hair wayward, he looked deliriously handsome.

 "Minx," Louis mutters. He strides into the house. "Where's my little princess?" He finds Ava babbling to herself in her highchair. Half of her face is covered in what looks like a mush of apple and custard and her pudgy fists bang on the messy tray. Her bib was covered in the same and she blew raspberries out. "Look at you, you yucky baby." He still doesn't mind when he kisses her sticky cheek. "You're making you Daddy proud!"

 "Dada!" she screams.

 "She's putting me through hell," Harry mutters. "And that's making you proud?"

 Louis grins at him, all of thirty two out. "Payback, sweetheart. You make fun about me job, I make fun about yours." Before the latter can retort, another body comes colliding into his. It's a small frame with spidery arms wrapping around his middle from his side. "Reub, my boy!"

 "You're home early, Daddy," the boy gushes on. His nose is turned up as he greets his father, straight blonde hair in shingles over his forehead. It was definitely going to turn a curly brown soon. "I was 'fraid you wouldn't read me a story tonight."

 Louis smiles and ruffles his hair. "Doubt I would miss that again, little lad. We have to start Helen Keller today, don't we?" He earns an enthusiastic nod in reply. "Then, we will."

 Dinner is a clattering affair. Reuben clings to Louis's lap as he eats, and they cut him some slack for once. He reads the first few chapters of the new Helen Keller to his son, answering the most grotesque questions after that. Children were so absurdly curious, it was flabbergasting. Right after, he joins Harry in bed after Ava's been put to bed with her thumb in her mouth.

 The bedroom door is locked shut, he notes. Harry shuffles around under the sheets for a while, before he turns around and meets Louis's eyes with a dark look. "Tired today?"

 Louis can only simper in the dark. "I don't think so," he says sultrily. Laughing as Harry jumps him, he lets himself be kissed into a nice rhythm.

 

***

 

**Zayn Malik (Case 78):** _hey luois we shud have sxe_ (10:37 PM)  
  _we shud coz your sinlge nd i am then_ (10:37 PM)  
  _i bet both of us wil b fraeks in bed ya kno_ (10: 38 PM)  
                                  _prety amazin wen you thnk about it_ (10:39 PM)

 

_Oh my god. Please ignore all that. I was so drunk._ (11:02AM)  
                                  _I'm so sorry, Louis. I guess you're straight, and I'm so sorry for freaking you out. (11:02 AM)  
                                __Can we pretend this didn't happen? For the sake of my effed up head?_ (11:02 AM)  
                                _Thanks, I guess. Please don't mention this to Liam. I'm sorry once again._ (11:03 AM)

 

When Louis shows the texts to Harry, the latter only pouts. Louis is lucky to kiss it off his face.

 

***

 

 "You've quit smoking?" Liam's voice is coloured with surprise. They're sitting on a cold wooden bench, quite some distance between them. The air condenses as he speaks.

Zayn nods, staring straight ahead at the children's park. He can see Saanya ducking under all the kids that scamper around the slide and monkey bars. One could imagine the sound of her giggles from her smile. It was so bright today; upon seeing both her fathers together. Even though Liam had tried to convince her and Zayn kept his distance from his ex-husband, she wasn't up for listening. He's pulled back to Liam's question. "Not exactly, but I'm trying, I guess. I've thrown out all the cigarettes. Electronic smoking is doing me better and I exercise when I have the urges."

"That's great, Zayn," Liam says softly.

For a moment, it's almost like before. Coming home to the both of them, having dinner in a laughing room, going to bed with a smile. But, Zayn manages to snap out of his reverie. He clears his throat and focuses back on his daughter. "We should do this more often. She looks happy. Absolutely thrilled when I told we're going to ice-cream after this."

"What?! No ice-cream! She's got two cavities already."

Zayn simply smiles to himself crookedly. Until he spots someone familiar, walking in their line of sight. The appearance of him is almost unnerving. "Louis!" He calls out, the person snaps their head towards them.

Louis pastes on a smirk as he jogs up them over the grass. He looks different in a pair of shirt and t-shirt than his usual suit. They both stand up to greet him. "Well, well, well. Look at this. So much improvement. Whatever has changed your mind?"

"Oh shut up," Liam starts off, pulling his coat closer to himself. "Saanya's happy and that's all that matters."

Louis raises an eyebrow, and points an accusatory finger at him. "I've been telling you that since the beginning, finally struck you, has it?"

Liam rolls his eyes. It's an action that looks foreign on him. "What are you even doing here? You-"

Zayn's eyes had been following Louis's hand suspiciously, ever since. There was a glistening ring on one of his fingers. "You're married," he blurts out at once. He looks up at the man with wide eyes. That wasn't possible. "Those... those messages, oh my god."

"What messages?" Liam jumps in at once, glancing down at his hand. "Holy- you are married! We saw three days ago, you weren't!"

Louis sighs wistfully, though his eyes are full of mirth. "I don't wear my ring while working. I suppose I am though, lads. Horrific, isn't it?" As if on cue, a small blonde boy comes running, collides into the man and hugs Louis around his legs. "Reub, I told you not to run, love. What is this?"

"Sorry, daddy!"

"You have a kid too," Liam gasps.

Louis looks at them inquisitively. "If that didn't explain it, I dunno what did. The lot of you are nothing but daft." He looks back his son. "Reuben, go play now. Daddy's busy, okay?"

The boy nods obediently and runs to the park where Zayn remembers to glance over at Saanya. She was now in the sandbox, and he felt relief.  "Where's your wife?" he demands. "We want to meet her. How does she live with a tyrant like you?"

He is just about to give them an unimpressed look when somebody shouts, "Lou!"

"Come on over, babe!"

Zayn shouts, "it's a husband," the same time Liam shouts, "you're gay?"

Louis shrugs, smiling at his said husband. The truth was unfurling like petals of a flower under the sun; every moment was surprising. "Took you a while to figure out, didn't it?"

The husband comes closer, strutting with a baby in his arms; another child. Zayn and Liam's jaws have long clattered to the floor with a large metaphorical thud. It was unbelievable. One of the most ruthless lawyers they knew, reduced to a puddle before his husband. The man has dimples and he smiles at Louis like he's the only one there. Louis immediately introduces them. "Love, this is Liam and this is Zayn. Liam, Zayn, this is my mysterious husband, Harry."

"Oh, mysterious, alright," Zayn scoffs. "He doesn't discuss his personal life, does he?"

"Never."

Liam, who had been quiet all this while, jumps up at once. "Jesus Christ on a stick, Zayn!"

"What?"

He faces Harry with horrified eyes. "You.. you officiated our wedding, didn't you?"

Zayn suddenly feels a dizzy spell hit him. "W-What?"

"Oops," Louis smirks at them. There's something knowing in it; like an inside joke. "I must have forgotten to mention he's a part-time minister. Ha ha."

"Sorry, what-" Zayn begins again. "I don't."

"He had shorter hair back then," Liam provides, he looks spooked down to his bones. His face is pale. "Four years ago, he officiated it."

Zayn turns paler than Liam. The baby gurgles, stuffing a fist in her mouth.

Harry simpers, identical to his husband's as bounces the baby girl in his arms. "I didn't think you'd remember. Louis told me about you both, and I remembered. Y'know. You were all over each other that day. I think Zayn's hair was doused in champagne, if I remember correctly."

Both of them turn a shade of dark red; embarrassment filtering into their cheeks. Shock was evident on their faces. "This is so embarrassing," Liam confesses. His voice was turning bashful, nothing like the words that had littered out of his mouth earlier. "You knew all along, didn't you? You knew one of you married us off and the other one helped with the divorce. That is so... like, those vows are literally flashing in my mind right now."

"Guilt," Zayn supplies not-so-helpfully, his ex-husband nods. It doesn't even make sense.

Harry waves his hand to brush it away, expression sombre. "It isn't a big deal. Sometimes it doesn't work out, and I'm not really throwing it back in your face. Louis and I have this... competition sort of thing. We see which one of us wins by number every month. Weddings, or divorces. Sometimes he wins, sometimes, I do.  It's quite a lot of fun. Like, telling people like you that we have very different occupations. Funny seeing the surprise on them. We've been doing it ever since we've been married. So, around... five and a half years, babe?" He looks at Louis.

Louis on the other hand, was oozing fond from his eyes. Lips quirked into a tiny smile. "Mhm. More like six, darling."

"Wow," Zayn enunciates. He looks impressed, probably the most emotion anyone will probably see on them. "Who would've guessed. Officiator and divorce lawyer. Going strong."

Louis is still looking at him, gaze unwavering as speaks. "I certainly didn't. I thank my lucky stars every night."

 

**Author's Note:**

> I got this ABSURD idea and I couldn't help but put it down, bear with me.  
> Thanks for reading. Feedback is appreciated. x


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